1. Oni-yome -an obsessively clean RN- once asked me to give a ride to her and one of her colleagues. Both jumped in the car with me. I immediately noticed that Oni-yome's colleague stank horribly, a mixture of malodorous cheese and spoiled seafood. I rolled down my window and stuck mi head out of the window, hoping that it will be over soon because it was a very short ride. When we arrived to the hospital Oni-yome stepped down from the car and asked me to continue for half a mile and drop her stinky friend closer to her final destination!2. Both Oni-yome and I got bonuses, about $3K each. We agreed I would spend mine in finishing hardwood carpentry for our kitchen, which I did. Oni-yome promised to repair our Honda that was about to die. When reminded of her part, Oni-yome said she had given her $3K to her brother, to pay late school fees for their kids attending a private school beyond his means. I doubt she ever got her money back. I parked our only car on blocks and ended up hurting myself because while I rode buses since then, Oni-yome took a taxi whenever she needed transportation.
3. We lived across a private hospital taking care of imported cases of malaria and other mosquito-borne diseases. I put screen on our windows to prevent entry of mosquitoes and other pests. While I was traveling Oni-yome removed the screens, she perceived the screen accumulated dust. She installed electric devices in every bedroom to repel mosquitoes. In comparison with screens, a passive system and one-time cost, we had to pay for relatively expensive insecticide pads to put every night in those devices. While we could certainly afford them, the new system was not certainly cost-effective,
4. I gave diamonds, almost $5K -before discounts- to Oni-yome for our Silver Wedding anniversary. She certainly deserved them, she said that the ring cost me just $100 per year of marriage, and her engagement ring had a diamond so tiny you needed an amplifying glass to watch it. She bought me 5 pairs of pants from the thrift store, at $1 each. While I certainly did not want a diamond or expensive outfits, I was somewhat baffled for the lack of symmetry.
5. I bought Oni-yome a second hand Mitsubishi Montero truck, that cost me $6K. She NEVER rode it. I bought her diamond earrings in Antwerpen, she did not put them on for 5 years because she thought the diamonds were too small.
6. Without checking with me first, Oni-yome asked one of her sisters -my less favourite one- to come and live with us for up to 6 months. Sister did not get a visa, though, what possibly saved our marriage.
7. Oni-yome made me wait 2+ hours outside of her job to pick her up so often that I had to tell her I would drop her but not pick her up anymore, which I did.
8. Oni-yome mutilated a tree in our front yard during one of my trips. She bought a dog during another of my trips abroad. She does not like the dog anymore and I spend some time with the poor dog in the laundry room where the dog is confined, because I think dogs are social animals and as a dog person, don't care spending time at the doghouse.
9. Oni-yome removed from my luggage gifts I was taking to my relatives in a trip I did to our home country, replacing them with gifts for her family instead (4 suitcases full of them) alleaguing her relatives are poorer than mine.
10. When we were engaged Oni-yome worked at a health center in a poor neighborhood. The health center had a large, dusty and arid internal patio. I worked very hard during several Saturdays to plant mulberry trees and flowers there. She later told me she thought I wanted TB patients to have a nicer place to be treated, which was true in part. I found intriguing Oni-yome had not realized I was doing that hard work to impress her. Perhaps it was not impressive at all, particularly because some health workers laughed at my efforts and forecasted all plants would die, which fortunately did not happen.
11. While in Marrakhech, I saved almost all my per diem eating at street vendors to buy Oni-yome a long silver necklace. She never wore it, saying it looked like a dog's chain.
12. Oni-yome arrived 2 hs late to a dinner with my relatives, making them wait hungry.
13. Oni-yome pressed me to have sex with her while I was very ill with typhoid fever, when we still were young lovers.
14. Oni-yome discarded my silly hats, and everything else I wore and she did not like. I must admit I have discarded some of her stuff too.
15. Oni-yome complained loudly whenever I wore a pink polo shirt, just because it make me look gay.
16. Oni-yome slept at the movies we went together. Therefore I stopped taking her to the movies. I think the last movie we went together was ET, or perhaps Indiana Jones I.
17. If Oni-yome cooks a large pot of beans, she expects me to eat beans lunch and dinner for several days in a row. I do not regard myself as a beaner.
18. If I find Oni-yome preparing my favorite dessert -a sort of creme brulee- almost always is being made for someone else, typically a female friend of hers.
19. Oni-yome forced me to donate a large part of my books because they took space she wanted for something else.
20. In spite of scientific evidence of beneficial effects of red wine consumed in moderate amounts, Oni-yome complained most of the times I poured myself a glass.
